The start of a new year is always a good time for
reflection. Throughout the 2010s running
was a huge part of my life, and I ran over 32,000 miles with 66 ultramarathon
and marathon finishes.
I can confidently say I was a better runner by the end of
the decade at 36 years old than I was at the start. I had a strong start in ultras with a sub 8
hour first 50 miler at the 2007 JFK 50 and a 19 hour run at the 2008 Vermont
100. The sky was the limit!
What followed was 5 years that I now refer to as my “wasted
youth.” I DNFed nearly every race of 50
miles or longer. I ran some solid
marathons and local 50Ks, but my “A” races always ended in disaster. I was young and fit, training hard, and running
big mileage. I should have been seeing
great results, and I still had dreams of glory after my promising 2007 and 2008
debuts.
There were many reasons for the challenges I faced, and there
is a steep learning curve for ultramarathons.
Nutrition was a huge problem for me and what I blamed for most of my
DNFs. But with maturity and 20/20
hindsight, I’d point to motivation and the mental game as my limiting
factors.
When things go south at mile 30 and you are faced with the prospect
of another 70 miles and 20+ hours out in the wilderness, it takes an enormous
amount of mental strength and grit to persevere to the finish. As a naturally competitive person, my primary
motivation would often be placement or time goals, but shooting for top 3 will not
get you to the finish when the going gets tough. If problems came up, as they always will in a
long ultra, I couldn’t pull myself out of the mental downward spiral. I refused to adjust my race day plan and
tried to muscle through, which would inevitably break me.
Then my first son was born in August of 2013. I started to notice a change in mindset and
motivation came in a December 40 miler, 4 months after he was born. My fitness wasn’t the best, and I had some
rough patches. But I was just thrilled
to be spending time doing what I love in the mountains and catching up with
friends. I ended up winning but more
importantly remembered how to have fun out there.
The next stage of my evolution as a runner was our family
trip to Europe in 2014. I had an
incredible timing running and hiking with the family and ran my first race in
the Alps. It was humbling and brutally
difficult like nothing I’d done before.
Time and placement were out the window, and it was purely about grit and
survival. I loved every minute! After coming home, I signed up for the
Grindstone 100 only 3 weeks before the race and purely on a whim. I hadn’t finished a 100 miler since my first
one at Vermont 6 years before, but I surprised myself with a 23-hour finish on
the tough course.
My mindset completely changed after this. I signed up for races that would inspire and
challenge me. I still had time and
placement goals, which helped me focus my training. But if things went south on race day, I’d
flip the switch and think of it as just a long day out in the woods. I have a demanding and stressful job and a
busy family life with two young boys. A
day to play in the mountains is a gift and a luxury. That is what matters, not a specific time or
Ultrasignup ranking that nobody cares about.
The irony is that when this mindset kicked in, I started
racing better. The beauty of a 100 miler or even a 50 is
that you can feel like garbage, slow down and hike for a few hours while you work
out whatever problem you have, get back to hammering it, and finish strong with
relatively little impact to your total time.
I also realized that the earlier you admit there is a problem and work
to solve it, the faster you’ll get out of it and the less impact it will have
on your race.
I kept building up my experience and racking up solid races
and got myself to the start line of the 2017 UTMB, my dream race since I
started the sport a decade before. I
finally captured the magic and glory, finishing in 30 hours. I focused more on finding tough races and big
challenges, finishing the 2018 Hellbender 100, 2018 Hellgate 100K, and 2019
Hellbender 100 (anyone notice a theme here?).
I finally figured out how to race well on the insane courses in the Alps
and was top 25 at the very tough Gran Trail Courmayeur 105km.
In 2019 I turned my training up to 11 and executed the
perfect race at UTMB. I finished in 28
hours on a tougher and longer course than 2017, easily the best race of my life
and putting me in 72nd place and in the mix with many of the elites.
While I would love to go back and impart some wisdom on my
20-something self, it unfortunately doesn’t work that way. But I’m excited about the next decade and
have dreams of new challenges and even tougher events (Tor des Geants,
anyone?). And hopefully I can share a
few tidbits here and there that will help newer runners avoid some of my
earlier mistakes.
Now it isn’t all roses and sunshine. I beat my body up pretty good training for
UTMB this year, and I need to make some changes to stay healthy and happy over
the next decade. More on that in my next
post.
Comments